Cupcakes and Competition.

As it was Valentine's day yesterday, I spent my evening cooking for my beloved (hence the absence of a blog last night), this all being part of my new found desire to be a domestic goddess. Not that I'm competitive or anything but I did feel a small pang of jealousy (ok I am being polite, it bordered on irritation) when I saw pictures of my Aunt's wonderfully presented heart-topped cupcakes and table laden in romance paraphernalia. Nigella Lawson reincarnate appears to have set up home in leafy Hampshire (note to self, must improve table presentation and include cupcakes at next big dinner and invite said Aunt). To add salt to the wound, I then facetimed my family (I know, how has face time become part of our normal vocabulary) only to see my Aunt smiling jauntily, with not a care in the world, nor a hair out of place, showing no signs of the the anxiexty that usually graces the face of a chef that's just cooked enough to feed a third world country.

So, pride swallowed, inadequacies noted, it got me thinking. Competitiveness, is it healthy? Would I want my children to be as competitive as me? Half the reason I became a trader and continued with my relentless schedule of 5am starts and endless nights out with clients, was because I am competitive, to the point where in the past it has consumed me. I always had to do things quicker, better, faster. This hasn't changed but it has dulled. Quite why it has dulled I am not sure. Maybe stability, contententedness, maturity, or all of the above, but I like this new found dullness. I don't feel the need to get the last word in an argument anymore or to prove I'm right at every chance. I actually enjoy taking a breath these days, learning from others, absorbing what those around me have to teach.

So what have I learnt today....I should have made bloody cupcakes!!!

Goodnight

Miss McArbitrage